I have been
weaning myself from Fb, but I did want to post something but it's too long for a FB post. I would like to ask for
continued prayers for my MIL and I would like to clarify something, so there is
no misunderstanding. I don't want to take undue credit for something.
MIL is not
doing so great. Well, actually, for someone her age and who has been through
what she has been through the last year, she is doing remarkably well. Her body
is failing, but her spirit is still there. She is probably the toughest woman I
have ever known. Our relationship has
not been a peaceful one, but she has been a big part of my entire adult life
and we have had some fun times as well as some not so fun times. She would do anything for me and has been
very generous to me over the years. Ruth and Esther, we would never be, but
both stubborn and determined to have our own way….yes. Our “alikeness” has been our biggest deterrent
to a happy, peaceful relationship. I ask
that you keep her in your prayers. That her last days, weeks, maybe months,
will be peaceful and she will have the opportunity to make the changes and
decisions necessary to face what she must face.
Seven months
ago I had to take a step back from the situation, for several reasons. During
this time, my sweet precious son has spent the most time with her than anyone.
Until flu and crud hit our house, he was with her almost every day. Never ashamed to be seen with his old, ailing
Granny, like many teenage boys would, even when she was recovering from
disfiguring surgery. Some folks say he
really got something out of it….those whose thoughts are more about the
material things in life. Yes, she spoils him. Always has. Would (and has) spend
her last dime on him, take him anywhere she was physically able to take him.
She did the same thing with her 4 grown grandchildren when they were
younger. She spoiled them right up until
they got married and some had kids. She
won’t be around for that for Mack. She tries to make up for the time she won’t
be around, now. But besides buying holiday decorations and soft drinks at Walmart and eating at Beef O Bradys several times a week, they have put
puzzles together, looked at old pictures and put pictures albums together. They have ridden out to area cemeteries to
record birth and death dates of ancestors. They have spent many hours talking
about the things they like and don’t like. I will admit that there are some
things about him that she knows better than I do. Even if no one else acknowledges how important he has been, I want him to know how much I appreciate him
being there for his Granny, when I haven’t been. She also has met a friend, Laura, over the
last couple of months, who is staying with her and takes very good care of her. We are all very grateful for Laura.
During the
holidays, I was burdened with many thoughts about how precious life is and how
guilt (either from something you have done, or something you haven't done) can
consume every aspect of your being. I
know there comes a time when the past needs to be put in the past. I am trying
to not mend fences with my MIL, but tear down the fence and plant a
garden….even if it’s just a potted plant.
Hopefully, there will be enough time to see a little fruit before the
next season of our lives comes along. I want us to part with both of us
understanding how much we have in common, and accepting that, and throwing out
differences out with the weeds.
I don’t want
anyone to think that I have played a role in caring for MIL in the last 7
months. I haven’t. I have made sure my
husband and children knew when she needed them and when things were going on.
But, I have not been the one caring for her and I do not want to take any
credit away from those who have. I am very grateful to those who have been. Her
sister, Annie, has been by her side, often unappreciated, but always willing to
help her in any way she could. I know
that my sister & brother and I would be the same way with each other and I
pray that my kids would be that way with each other.
Thinking back to my post several weeks ago about conscience and how different people are, I continue to be amazed at how people interpret things. I was raised in the church, and even though I have strayed at times from that upbringing, the fundamental principles that I was taught are not easily hidden or denied. But, it makes it hard for me to understand those who just don’t get it. Sometimes you do things just simply for peace of mind. Not for material or financial gain. Some people look for materialism in everything. There is remorse. There is guilt. There is a sincere wish to make amends…..just because it’s the right thing to do. Not everything has a price tag or a market value.
Please pray
for my MIL and for anyone else you might have differences with. Pray that God
will burden your heart to fix those
differences. You never know for sure that you will have that opportunity or the
time if you put it off.
